This memorial blog has been created by friends and colleagues in Alex's honor. All are welcome to contribute.
In lieu of flowers, the Farrell family requests that contributions in Alex's memory be made to the Alex Farrell Memorial Scholarship Fund. Should you wish to donate, please make your check payable to the Regents of the University of California and mail it to:
University of California
Energy and Resources Group
Attn: Memorial Fund
310 Barrows Hall #3050
Berkeley, CA 94720-3050
12 comments:
I am an enormous fan of Alex Farrell.
his voracious intellect
his impeccable preparation
his seemingly endless enthusiasm, time and support for the work of his students
his regimented file system
his numbered power point slides
his high contrast analog watch
he believed that details matter. This belief required little faith because he proved that they do.
My shock this morning upon reading about his death was amplified by the fact that he was found in his home. “He has a home?!” I thought. It had practically never occurred to me. He was so engage and involved in campus life, and in particular in the many and various responsibilities of teaching, lecturing, and mentoring students (and increasingly policy makers).
Because he was such a good communicator with an agile and well prepared mind, I was always eager to hear his opinions on any subject. He was capable of being way off base, but particularly in areas beyond his expertise, it was a pleasure to watch his thinking evolve as he methodically narrowed in on the kernel of truth he was seeking.
Having felt such an immediate connection to his clearly communicated ideas and interests, I though of myself as knowing him well. However, today I am filled with an overwhelming feeling of not having known him nearly well enough.
I believe that Alex was one of those most rare people with the potential to change the world for the better through rigorous academic work. Today I am grieving for myself, my fellow students, his academic peers and the broader campus community, but I think my most lasting sense of loss will be for the world that carries on without the benefit of his carefully crafted, vigorously researched, and always well presented work.
Sam Borgeson 4/16/08
Alex, Thanks for your service.
I am nearing retirement and have been in academia and environmental policy all my career. I have great admiration for your work and articulate communication.
I have to confess that I have accomplished way less than what you did in 46 short years.
Thanks for your service to the Berkeley community, California and this World.
I hope your students and colleagues will find inspiration from your body of work and service to humanity and the earth.
We all dearly hope and pray that your students will continue to soldier on to get my grand kids out of the global warming mess that my generation created.
http://www.eenews.net/tv/video_guide/681
http://www.eenews.net/tv/video_guide/628
i don't understand why you did this
i wish you had opened up enough to talk your way through this
i wish you had found enough pleasure and meaning in life to stay with us
i wish i had engaged with you more fully and openly
i wish i had known you long enough to get over being scared of you
you've reminded me how important it is to take care of myself if i'm feeling depressed or overworked, and to have enough humility to seek help when i need it
but all of this is from my perspective
i usually saw you as a professor or as a resource
i didn't take the time to imagine life from your perspective while you were with us, and now, ... now it's more difficult
now and then i get angry with you
the anger is hard to hold onto, because i don't really know what you were going through, what was so important that it overwhelmed your successes and the fun that it seemed like you were having
i feel sorrow that you held such a burden and felt you could not share it with any of us around you
tomorrow, your body will be buried.
i believe that we live on through the impressions we leave in the people around us
your death has left a lot of confusion in my mind, but i'll try to wade through and find positive and constructive memories to carry with me.
goodbye
I have a happy memory of the last time I saw Alex. I was at a conference in DC in January and he saw me milling about the display tables. He called over to me and met me with a big smile and a handshake. I will always remember that handshake--full of vibrance, life, and a pleasant confidence. We chatted a bit, about exciting research in the field, what we were both working on, the usual conference banter. But it was the first time I felt I connected with him; I was even, I confess, a bit flattered that he recognized me in the crowd. At our parting I left feeling optimistic and motivated. This energy, this life will be missed.
I was going to Alex's funeral, but I missed the plane, at the gate... It's a long story.
I wanted to attend his funeral to say thanks for all what he had done for us, and to pay my tremendous respect for him. But he wouldn't be able to hear it any way. I hope the funeral go well. May Alex rest in peace.
We will miss his presence, his dictation to work, his humor and his kindness. Goodbye, friend.
-slyeh
To Alex, wherever you are
I want you to know, that you are missing a great party today. Everyone gathered today here and there are people who love you, admire you and miss you so much. You, Alex, are highly missed, even in this humbled side of the continent.
You left so many people behind, the work you loved and done so much much for it, your colleagues, students and friends. Not counting the future, so brilliant in front of you filled with very exciting new projects and places to visit. What about your visit to Brazil, hein? You seem so happy with the idea of coming to see with your own eyes the ethanol program in Brazil. And I was looking for your visit anytime!
For me, as a new scholar back in Brazil, knowing you were there at ERG was a constant source of inspiration. I cannot imagine ERG without you now, and not even for a second. How is ERG going to replace their rising star, with the same passionate, diligent and earnest spirit you have, with the same dedication and generosity only you could offer in your area of knowledge and expertise?
I will share a short story about my first meeting with Alex, during his first three weeks at ERG back in early June/July 2003.
Alex was the first one to arrive, and probably the last one to leave. He worked like a maniac, and he was always working. Then I thought, "man, this guy must be a Capricorn, well, as Capricorns love to work and are stubborn in their career path." So I was curious to meet him and chat a bit with our new faculty, trying to find out more about him. One day when we met right in front of the printer, while both of us were printing our material, I tried to start a very informal conversation, not knowing what was going to happen. I enquired about his time at Berkeley (he was still living at the campus housing), his time at ERG and then I threw this question about his birthday. Got him by surprise! My suspicion was right, he was a Capricorn. And I said that to him! He was not happy with my comment on his private life, especially with my astrological findings, and Alex was indeed a little mad with me. We hit on a hard nut scientific argument about believing or not in astrology and stars forming our destinies. He was just coming from a hard military science-engineer department before joining ERG, and he sounded very skeptical of all non-scientific astrological truths. I, on the other hand, was holding a position of anthropologist trying to show that science, being constructed around practices, knowledge, myths and symbols are part of our culture, and an instrument to planning and management of human-nature relationships: For example, being astrology just one kind of pseudo-science (with a Fenician and/or Greek's heritage) that studies stars and planets, human behavior and their destiny, helping to organize the chaos and complexity around this subject..., like some complex issues of personality etc.
From that moment on, back in July 2003, we found a common ground, and we respected each other point of view. But he was still suspicious of me for few months....
I just hope, Alex, you found your destiny, as you were the new rising star at ERG!
"That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence"
and that you find peace and nirvana wherever you are now, living in the stars and in yourself, my dear friend.
Love
Renata
The last time I saw Alex was a week before his death, when I ran up to him to let him know I got a job (he said to me more than once that anyone graduating now in energy/environment would find a job, I countered that it had to be the RIGHT job – one that helps save the world … and pay well). He gave me that big grin and congratulated me, and then said that he was having my soon-to-be boss come and speak in his class. He looked me straight in the eye (as always!) and said he would give me two years to learn and grow within the organization, and then he would invite me to come speak to the class instead of my boss.
I’m so grateful that this was my last conversation with him – this was quintessential Alex. He was both happy with his students’ successes, and at the same time pushing them to do more, challenging them to take a bigger role.
I actively sought him out as a mentor and advisor, even though I’m not in ERG. And though he had no obligation to me, he challenged me and supported me. He handed me challenge after challenge as if to say, “You asked for it.” I know he did this for other students as well. We orbited around him, grateful for his intensity, his commitment to purpose and his commitment to our success.
One conversation in particular I will always cherish, and I know it will help other grieving grad students. I was torn between applying to ERG for a second masters or going out and working in the industry. I began to say that through my original master’s degree I had lots of access to ERG and that perhaps I didn’t need the second masters. He said the number one thing that the UC Berkeley’s masters teach you is that “You Can Do It.” (Literally – he really did say this; it wasn’t quite as cheesy as it appears in this blog.) Essentially, you have been given the academic prowess to pursue any challenge. You’ll know what your resources are or how to get them, what you don’t know, how to define the problem and then go after the answer.
Then he grinned and said, “Good. I just saved you two years’ tuition.”
Alex did just that during his short life – he went after insurmountable problems. We were inspired by him and he instilled this attitude in all of us.
I know that he was completely serious about having me come speak in two years. That realization hit me suddenly this morning, particularly how it relates to his death. I won’t speculate on what he was thinking that fateful weekend, but I do know the true Alex was passionate about his students, fellow faculty, and solving serious problems. This is how I choose to remember him.
Alex, I know you are surrounded by love and light. Thank you for touching my life in this meaningful way. I promise to keep asking the hard questions and going after the challenging work.
I just hope that whatever else was going on in his life, Alex knew how much we really loved him and respected him.
Alex was pretty sparing with his compliments, so I can only think of two or three that he ever gave me regarding my work. But those couple compliments really meant a lot to me.
The most special was the time when he spontaneously came up to me and told me how great he thought The Green Initiative Fund (TGIF) was. Alex was so productive in the research world that I always assumed he didn't think much of extracurricular activities like TGIF. It totally made my day when he told me that he thought TGIF was awesome.
I'll miss you, Alex.
John Stanley
Alex, even I only had spent few months with you, and even you have no obiligation for me since I'm neither your student nor my institute provided you fund as to other professors; you still coach me when I was in need of guidance. For a visiting reseacher from abroad, your help was great and valuable. I will miss you.
Alex,
You will be missed. I'm so shocked that this happened. I wish that I had taken the time to get to know you better. You were truly a great addition to ERG which is the only context in which I knew you. Wherever you are, I hope that you are doing well.
To Alex's family & friends,
You should know that he was loved and appreciated by many people. I hope that, along with your sorrow, you can feel good to have helped shape a wonderful, dedicated, passionate person. His time here may have been short but his contributions were many.
Many people in the environmental community - including me - relied on Alex for technical support on the development of the low carbon fuel standard. He was an incredible resource, always willing to devote energy to help us sort through the issues. Whenever I called on Alex for help, he responded with enthusiasm, plenty of aplomb, and incisive and thoughtful comments.
Even in the U.C. community of smart people, Alex shined bright. It was a pleasure to work with someone so driven by intellectual honesty. He was a consummate teacher, always taking time to explain his positions in a logical and compelling way. He didn't acquiesce easily to an alternate point of view, but neither was he mired in a fixed, static position. If presented with strong technical arguments, Alex could readily expand his world view to build a new or different paradigm. Alex managed to straddle academia and politics seamlessly, using his persuasive skills and formidable intellect to engage the minds of students and politicians alike.
Alex's public life was so relentlessly organized and so energetically dispensed that his death is fairly incomprehensible to me. His death is a loss not just to UC Berkeley, but to Californians and to the nation. We will sorely miss his contributions to energy policy, and as we continue to work on the low carbon fuel standard, his memory is with us.
Patty Monahan, Union of Concerned Scientists
I only knew Alex through one seminar I took with him a few semesters back. I found his class impeccably run and always looked forward to it because I knew I would come out of it much more knowledgeable. While I was admittedly intimidated by Alex because he knew the topic so incredibly well and because he was a genius at challenging students when and where they needed to be challenged, I also saw a side of him that surprised me. Whenever I emailed him with questions or requests to meet with him in his office, he would reply back almost immediately and with warmth and enthusiasm. And although he certainly did challenge me on many levels, he realized that I am more shy than other students and wasn't quite ready for the rigor he imposed on most of them, but he pushed me just far enough so I could keep moving forward. He was really supportive and gave me unexpected and abundant praise on the final project I did for his class. In short, he was in my opinion the perfect kind of 'tough love' teacher that pushed students just right up to their own edge to help them realize their full potential and I will always be grateful to have had the privilege to be his student.
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